Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Read online

  My jaw clamps down. “Fine!” I snap.

  “When did your talents first manifest?”

  Do I lie? It may be petty, but I want the Guardians to be afraid of me. “The second I was born.”

  “How did you conceal your talents for so long?”

  “How do you think?” I ask. “I simply didn’t use them in public. I trained myself to bury them any time I was with someone, but I practiced using them when I was alone.”

  “What do you mean you buried them?” Braden asks. The curiosity in his voice is almost childlike. It momentarily makes me wonder if the questions aren’t more for him than his captain.

  “Well, I gathered up my external talents like Naturalism or Perception and I blocked them from leaving my body. It’s what anyone would do, isn’t it?”

  Braden scrutinizes me, but there is the hint of a smile in his eyes. “If they could, they would.”

  His comment surprises me. “You mean other people can’t do that?”

  “I’ve never heard of anyone doing something like that,” he says. “Then again, you may have been the only person who ever needed to hide a talent.”

  I seriously doubt that. Even if you couldn't completely hide your talents to avoid a career you didn’t want, I’m sure plenty of people would have liked to have minimized their abilities in a certain area if it meant a better placement. It’s interesting, but I want to get this over with so we can move on. “What else?”

  “That’s enough for now. I can’t have my captain think you were too cooperative or he’ll expect more next time.”

  “Next time?” I demand.

  Braden folds his arms over his chest. “It’s a possibility.”

  Not if I can help it. I spin away from him, my annoyance at this whole situation doubling. I didn’t outright lie to Milo about this, but simply not telling him isn’t any more honest. It’s killing me to know I’m going behind his back. There is no way I intend to make a regular habit of meeting with Braden. My guilt for meeting with Braden—not to mention that I didn’t Milo him about kissing Braden last night—is heavy enough to bury me alive. I want to get away from Braden and be done with all of this.

  A few books and random art supplies are scattered over the floor. I have only one horribly uncomfortable chair and a bed to sit on. The bed is not going to happen, so I start cleaning up the floor as I will my irritation to calm back down. I have most of my paraphernalia picked up when a hand landing on my shoulder and startling me makes me drop it all again. Feeling more guilty and annoyed than ever, I face Braden.

  “Libby, are you all right?” he asks.

  “Fine. I’m fine. Can we just get started?”

  “You don’t seem fine. You’re always a little jumpy, but tonight you seem especially keyed up. What’s bothering you?” He keeps his distance for once, but the velvety worry rolling off of him is making me lightheaded.

  “Nothing. I’m fine, okay?” I snap. Anger. If I can stay angry and irritated so I don’t get trapped by Braden’s freakish allure, I’ll be able to get through this.

  “No, you’re not. What’s wrong?”

  I let every unpleasant emotion boil to the surface and use it against him. “What’s wrong? Everything is wrong. You’re wrong. Why did you kiss me last night?”

  Okay … I really didn’t mean to bring that up. I liked it. Way more than I should have. But I hate him for doing it, for making me feel like that when I didn’t want to. I meant to stay focused on my general anger at the Guardians, but now that I’ve brought it up, it isn’t going back down. Fury at what he put me through yesterday erupts viciously.

  “Is that really what you’re upset about?” Braden asks.

  “Yes!” I snap. “One of the reasons, anyway. You had no right to do that.”

  He’s honestly taken aback by my reaction. “I … I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

  “No, you just meant to anger my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, I mean. Whatever! You only did it to be a jerk. And I don’t appreciate that. Piss Lance and Milo off on your own time. Don’t use me to get at them,” I say.

  “I had to tell Lance everything yesterday. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? I woke him up in the middle of the night. He thought Milo and I were having sex! I have never been so mortified in my life, and that’s really saying something for me! I had to convince my ex-boyfriend, who I’m pretty sure is still in love with me, that I’m not sleeping with my current boyfriend, which is totally none of his business, and then to top it all off, you wander right into our class and he figures out exactly who it was I was getting so riled up with last night. He damn near attacked you right there in the middle of class, Braden!”

  Hurt, angry pain reaches its boiling point and tears start spilling down my cheeks. “He thought I slept with you last night. He thought I was cheating on Milo with the guy who almost killed us! The way he looked at me … what he must have thought of me at that moment. How could you do that to me? What the hell is wrong with you?”

  My legs give out and I plop down on the corner of the bed. Braden immediately sinks to the floor in front of me. His hands touch mine in an effort to comfort me, but I slap them away. He sits back on his heels and drops his head.

  “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that,” he says quietly.

  “What did you think would happen? You even said you were doing it to get at Lance.”

  His shoulders fall. “I thought it would make him jealous. I figured with you and Milo being together, he’d feel that kind of thing all the time. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. I’m sorry. I honestly never would have done it if I’d known it was going to hurt you.”

  “You were trying to hurt me. You wouldn’t have asked about Lance and Milo feeling me if you weren’t. Making them jealous of each other is only going to make things more difficult for me,” I say. Doesn’t he understand that? Or is there some kind of receptor built into guys’ brains that make them think jealousy and fighting over girls is a good thing?

  “I didn’t ask about their Oaths with you because I wanted to tease them.”

  Yeah. Right. “Then why did you ask? Research for your Captain?”

  “No,” Braden says, “I asked because I wanted to kiss you, and I was hoping neither of them would know if I did.”

  “Then why did you still kiss me?” I ask, not sure whether I believe him or not. I have to forcibly push my own emotions away to tap into my Perception and find the guilt coming from him, the guilt and the honesty of why he kissed me. I shudder at the purity of his longing.

  “Because I really wanted to kiss you, and after you said only Lance could feel you, I thought it was a little bit of payback for him turning on his class,” he admits. “It was stupid. Not kissing you, just wanting to get back at Lance.”

  “Kissing me was stupid, too.” Even if it did feel incredibly good.

  Braden’s fingers brush against my thighs as he reaches for my hands. My mind tells me to pull away, but my heart answers Braden’s desire first. His touch crumbles every barrier I have. It takes all my Strength to keep my muscles from quivering under his touch. “I’m sorry for hurting you, but not for kissing you.”

  “You should be sorry for both.”

  “But I’m not, and I don’t think you are, either. Not if it felt good enough to give Lance the wrong idea about what happened last night,” he presses.

  Why? Why did it feel so good last night? I love Milo. I want him desperately. I have no desire to leave him for Braden. It’s just the way he makes me feel, it’s so much more intense than anything I’ve ever felt with Milo.

  My whole body snaps taut, and I rip my hands away from him. Braden is surprised by the change, but doesn’t move away. When I speak, it’s through my teeth, and closer to a growl than actual words.

  “Were you manipulating me last night with your Spiritualism?”

  Braden’s eyes widen. “What? No, of course not. I would never do that to anyone.”
/>
  “It felt too good, Braden. You had to be doing something to me. You had to be!”

  “I wasn’t! I felt the same way you did. You can tell if I’m lying. Please, just check and see if I’m lying,” he asks.

  I try. I grasp for my Perception with no result. I’m too incensed to find it under my chaotic emotions. “I can’t. I’m too angry,” I growl. “Promise me, right now. Promise me that you weren’t manipulating me last night and that you won’t ever try to manipulate me.”

  His fingers snap to his emblem. “I promise I wasn’t trying to manipulate you last night and that I never will. I’m not any good at manipulating people, anyway. The first time we met, I thought you were manipulating me, making me like you in spite of who you were. It was part of the reason I came back that night. I wanted to see if I still felt as drawn to you then as I did in the theater.”

  “And did you?” I ask.

  “Even more than the first time. More every time I see you.” His fingers are still touching his Guardian emblem. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night. At first, it was partly curiosity about what was drawing me to you, but the more I’m around you, the more my curiosity fades and the surer I become that being with you feels right.”

  Was that what he realized the other day in the hall? My anger falls away slowly, but enough that I can use my Perception to double up on the words I already know are honest. Unless I was manipulating him without realizing, which seems doubtful given how bad I suck at using Spiritualism for anything, he truly felt something for me that night.

  “I don’t understand this,” I say.

  Braden moves from the floor to the bed, his closeness almost as bad as having him touch me outright. He shifts and his knee contacts mine. I could move, but the pinpoint of energy sending shots of bliss up my leg is too hard to let go of.

  “I don’t understand this either,” Braden says, “but I know I can’t walk away from you. You’re everything I’ve been trained to hate. I should be drawing my blade and watching your blood seep into the sheets instead of trying to stop myself from stripping away your clothes one piece at a time.”

  Desire strong enough to knock me back hits me, and I have to brace myself to keep from collapsing on the bed. I try to take a deep breath to clear my head. All I can manage are shallow, whimpering gasps. I want him to do it. Push me back and make love to me. But I don’t want him to at the same time. I want Milo to be my first, my only one. I want Milo. I want him so badly.

  Whether Braden has any idea of my internal struggle or not, he isn’t backing down. “I’ll give you my Oath right now, if you ask me.”

  I groan in torturous indecision. My voice is barely above a whisper when I finally answer him. “No. I want your Oath, but not because of how you feel about me. You have to believe in what I’m doing.”

  “But you let Lance give you his Oath out of love,” Braden argues.

  Please don’t use that word, I beg. Please, please, don’t even come close to that word. Whatever this is between us, it isn’t that.

  “I didn’t let Lance do anything. I never asked for his Oath. I didn’t want it.” Although it would be a lie to say I felt the same way now. I’ll never love Lance like I once did, but over the last couple months I have come to welcome him back as a friend. I need him with me. “I don’t want your Oath, either, not unless you’re honestly prepared to help me take down your brothers.”

  “I don’t know how long that will take.”

  “It doesn’t matter. That’s how it has to be,” I say. I have to know he’s dedicated to freeing the Ciphers just as much as he is to me. Although …. “Can you even swear more than one Guardian Oath?”

  A strange mixture of emotions flashes from him too quickly to unscramble. “No,” he says, “but that’s not an issue for me. I’ve never given my Oath to anyone before.”

  “Why not?” I ask slowly, thinking of what Mr. Walters said earlier today about some Guardians never giving their Oath because of their willingness to kill. I can feel myself pulling away from Braden. He catches the motion and stops me from running.

  “I never gave my Oath because I couldn’t. None of the Cipher hunters can. It’s too traumatic for the Ciphers when they’re taken. If we were linked to them, it would cripple us the second we tried to take one,” he explains.

  I don’t really think that’s any better than what I was thinking originally.

  “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting people because I knew the alternative was killing Ciphers the second they were found, and it was one of the few jobs I could take that didn’t involve murdering people,” he says. “Besides, I’ve always planned on giving my oath to a single person, to the woman I fell in love with.”

  The urge to slap my hands over my ears so I don’t have to hear him anymore bunches my shoulders into a knot. It’s not true. Something else is happening here. He doesn’t love me. I cannot deal with that fact right now. I can’t. I just can’t. I have to change the subject, right now.

  “Can we just get started with getting over my block? Everything else is going to have to wait.” For a very long time, hopefully.

  “Sure. We can talk about this later,” he says.

  Or never. Never would be great. I don’t bother voicing my opinion because I know it won’t help. I just sigh and glance up at Braden. He turns so he’s facing me head on. The sudden seriousness in his eyes makes me wary.

  “Before we start this, you have to promise me something,” he says.

  “What?”

  “You can never try to wrap someone up like you did Casey. I won’t show you how to get over your block unless you promise me first.”

  “Why are you so afraid of that? What will happen if I do? Everything was fine when I did it to Casey,” I argue.

  Braden shakes his head. “You were incredibly lucky. Smothering someone with your own spirit, it can not only kill the person you’re trying to help, but it can kill you, too. A body can’t live without the spirit. Suffocating a spirit like you tried to do can destroy it. The backlash of power released when a spirit dies outside of its body is tremendous. It will rip apart anything near it.”

  “Oh,” I say, feeling slightly weak. No wonder Casey fought against me so hard when I started trying to wrap her up. She must have known what could happen.

  “Libby, promise me that if the same thing happens to me, you won’t try to save me. Just get out of there as fast as you can,” he says.

  “That won’t happen.”

  He sighs. “It might. I’m the one who put some of those people there. Plenty of them are not going to be happy to see me. They never are.”

  Suddenly his comment about having had a few close calls in the spirit world makes perfect sense. Braden could die tonight if the renegade Ciphers get a hold of him. If I don’t help him like I did Casey, I know he’ll die. And I’ll have been the one to make him go there in the first place. But he won’t take me if I don’t promise.

  “Libby, you have to promise me you won’t do it,” Braden says again.

  Lance’s understanding eyes flash in my mind. I have to go. No matter what. I have to reach the Ciphers and find out what’s going on. It’s possibly a choice between Braden’s life and reaching the Ciphers. It’s a disturbingly easy choice to make.

  “I promise.”

  Chapter 1

  2

  Beauty in the Aftermath

  Sitting on the floor next to Braden with the heater off and only a thin pair of shorts and a tank top to protect me from the cold is not a pleasant experience. I tested him for honesty when he first told me to change. Despite the fact that I know without a doubt he wasn’t lying to me, I still don’t believe I really need to be freezing during this whole process. Keeping my physical body cold so I don’t fall too deeply into my trance where I might lose control sounds like a pretty thin reason to me. Even during what he’s promised is going to be a very unpleasant experience. The spike of pleasure that came from h
im when I walked out of the bathroom in my skimpy outfit didn’t do much for my confidence, either.

  But I did it anyway.

  “Okay, Libby, before we can start, you need to have an idea of what it is that’s blocking you from getting into the spirit world. It can be an event or experience, a belief, anything that would make your spirit afraid of going,” Braden says.

  “I already know what’s blocking me. Just show me how to get over it.”

  Braden doesn’t say anything for a few moments. His hands tighten and relax several times. “Are you going to explain that?”

  “No.”

  He sighs. “In order to get over your block, you have to relive it.”

  My eyes pop open. “What? You didn’t tell me that before.” None of the articles I looked up said that. They just said it was unique to the person. I start shaking uncontrollably. I don’t want to go through that again. I don’t think I even can.

  “Libby, it’s the only way.”

  “How do you know that?” I ask. Maybe he’s wrong. He’s not even a practicing Spiritualist.

  Braden puts a hand on my shoulder to calm me down and refocus my panic. “I know because it was the only way I could get over my own block.”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize,” I say quietly.

  Braden smiles at me. “How else would I know? Spiritual blocks are very rare. Most spiritualists have never even treated one and probably never will. I develop my Spiritualism as a hobby, and most of what I know is stuff I learned from my grandfather when I was little. I’m not a professional by any means.”

  “What happened?”

  “I was eight. My grandfather was a full time Spiritualist in his younger days. He recognized the signs in me and asked me if I wanted to learn more about my talent. I thought it sounded like fun, so I let him teach me. He taught me how to go into a trance, and when he thought I was ready he agreed to show me how to get to the spirit world.”

  Braden pauses, his hand tightening around my shoulder. “We got there without any problems, but we were only there for a few minutes when my grandfather started panicking. I had no idea what was going on with him. He disappeared without any explanation. I was trapped there. I didn’t know how to get back. No one else in my family had Spiritualism. I was stuck there alone and terrified for three days.”