The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) Page 13

  Finally stepping away from the door, he approached the barstools and asked a waiter he recognized named Paul if he’d seen Natalie. “No, Mr. Sullivan, sorry. She hasn’t been in. Are you expecting her?”

  “I…” Vance paused, not even sure what day it was anymore. “I’ll just call her. I might have my days mixed up.”

  Paul nodded. “Hey, I was real sorry to hear about your girlfriend. She seemed like a real nice lady.”

  Another knife seemed to twist in his gut. “Thanks,” he choked out before turning and heading for his regular booth. It was only when he sat down and turned on his phone that he realized it was Tuesday. He and Natalie usually met on Mondays and Wednesdays. There was no reason for her to be at the café that day, especially since it was almost one o’clock and past her usual lunch break.

  Decency and what was left of his professionalism told him to go home, maybe order some food first since he wasn’t sure when he’d last eaten a non-liquid meal, but go home all the same. It was what he should have done. He knew it was the right thing to do. His head was starting to feel fuzzy again as the spike of alertness began to wear off and the pounding intensified. That wasn’t why he didn’t go home, though. He needed her, plain and simple, so he brought up her number and hit send.

  Chapter 17

  The Bedroom Door

  As usual, the ringing of her phone nearly startled Natalie out of her chair. It took her until the third ring before she was able to focus on the caller ID and realize it was Vance. That banished her fear immediately and she scrambled to answer the call.

  “Vance! I’m so glad to hear from you. Are you all right? Everyone’s been worried sick!” It all tumbled out in a downpour of words, Natalie only breathing once they were all spilled out.

  “I thought maybe we could meet today, since I missed our last few appointments,” Vance said, not answering any of her questions.

  So confused by what he’d said, all Natalie could manage as a response was “What?”

  “I’ve missed our appointments,” he insisted. “We should have had one yesterday. Could we make it up? Now?”

  Something was wrong. That much was obvious. Vance sounded strange, like he was battling a massive headache and couldn’t focus properly. It wasn’t just that. This wasn’t how he usually talked to her. He was asking, almost…begging. Why? She had no idea what was going on, but she thought it best to get a few things straightened out that Vance didn’t seem to understand.

  “Vance, first of all, you didn’t miss our appointment yesterday. After what happened with Stephanie, of course you would need some time off. Everyone understands that. Your friends have all your patients covered until you’re ready to go back to work.”

  For a long time, Vance didn’t respond. When he did, his voice was thick with some kind of emotion Natalie couldn’t quite identify. “You said first off. Is there something else? A second thing.”

  Natalie hesitated. She knew no one had been in contact with Vance since the funeral, but for some reason she still expected him to know what had been going on. Forming the words she needed to say next hurt, but she forced herself to explain. “Yes, there is. A second thing, I mean. It’s that, well…I’m not your patient anymore.”

  She heard the air rush out of him like he’d just been hit in the stomach. “I understand,” he said in defeat. “After Stephanie…you don’t want…it’s okay. I get it.”

  “No!” Natalie almost shouted. “It wasn’t me. It was Guy. I didn’t want to stop being your patient.”

  “What? But why?”

  Taking a deep breath, Natalie did her best to explain. “He’s helping Leo with your patients. They’re both seeing them all until you’re ready, like I said, but I think there were too many or something, so they referred out some of the new ones. Guy told them they could all come back later, well except me, but he said it would be easier for the new patients to move than the old ones.”

  Natalie wasn’t sure what she expected his response to be, but she was caught off guard when he went straight to, “Why not you? Why can’t you come back?” It wasn’t just a question, but a demand. Almost like he was angry.

  An odd sense of…satisfaction maybe…welled up in Natalie’s center. Was he really that bothered by the idea of not being able to meet with her? Either he was really, really worried about her falling apart without him, or maybe Guy was right. Natalie felt herself relax at that thought.

  “It wasn’t anything bad,” she said softly. “Guy just thought we might be better…as friends, instead of doctor and patient.” She held her breath, waiting for him to respond. When a full minute ticked by and he still hadn’t said a word, Natalie couldn’t bear it. “If you don’t think so, though, it’s okay.”

  This time Natalie didn’t watch the clock as she waited for a response. It took so long she was on the verge of just hanging up and pretending she’d never met Vance before he finally spoke. “If you don’t want to meet as doctor and patient anymore, would you…could you still come…as a friend?”

  Natalie’s held breath shuddered out of her body, and she almost dropped the phone, her relief was so profound. “Of course,” she said, smiling for the first time in weeks.

  “Right now?” His voice cracked on the last word and Natalie’s sense at the beginning of the call that something wasn’t right came back full force.

  “Absolutely.”

  She still thought about how many people might be in the hallways, and who might try to talk to her, and definitely the risk of bumping into another human being on her way down to her car. She hesitated at her desk, asking herself if she could get up and leave in the middle of the day. For once, Natalie stood up more quickly than she ever had before, shut down her computer, grabbed her keys, and forced herself to walk out of her office. She honestly wasn’t even sure how she made it to her boss’s office door until she was standing right in front of it with her hand poised to knock.

  Actually completing the motion terrified her, because it meant having a direct conversation with Donald, but she had to do it for Vance. His needs, her failure to comfort him at the funeral, and her desperation to make up for it now made her knuckles rap against the wood, which was no small shock to either of them when Donald opened the door.

  “Natalie,” he said in surprise, “can I help you with something?”

  Stay calm, she told herself. Breathe. Speak. Do it for Vance. “Yes, um, I was wondering, would it be okay if I…took the rest of the afternoon…off? A friend of mine, he’s having a really rough time, and…” Her voice trailed off as she tried to think of what to say next without divulging things she wasn’t sure she should.

  “Mr. Sullivan, right? I saw the notice about his girlfriend’s passing in the paper a few weeks ago. I was really sorry to hear about it.”

  Startled by his response, Stephanie forgot her anxiety for a moment and said, “I didn’t think you’d remember meeting him.”

  “If the fact that he’s the only personal acquaintance you’ve ever introduced me to wasn’t enough,” he said with a laugh, “it was pretty obvious he really cared about you and was concerned about your safety. Of course I remember meeting him.”

  “Oh.”

  Her boss smiled sadly. “Please convey my condolences, and of course you can take the afternoon off. You have a ridiculous number of sick days and vacation built up, so if you need more time, just shoot me an email, okay?”

  Set back by his understanding and kindness, Natalie found it hard to speak, but not for the usual reasons. “Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.”

  He nodded and said he hoped everything was okay before Natalie couldn’t hold back her anxiety at being so close to him any longer and took her leave. Walking to the stairs didn’t seem quite as terrifying as usual, but it was probably due to how off balance she felt rather than any real improvement on her part. Either way, she wasn’t complaining. She was too worried about Vance for anything else to get through as she rushed down the stairs.

 
As she hurried into her car and locked all the doors, she wondered if she should call Guy and let him know Vance had finally made contact. What would she tell him, though? In reality, Natalie had no idea what was going on yet, and if Vance had wanted his friends updated on his situation, he would have called one of them first. Maybe he had. She really had no idea.

  In the end, she decided to wait and see what was going on with Vance before making any other decisions. After all, Guy hadn’t asked her to spy on his friend and report back. He’d simply asked her to be his friend. Feeling more confident, Natalie pulled out of the parking garage and drove to the café.

  Her worry started to build when she didn’t see Vance’s car anywhere, but she parked and hurried to the café just to be sure he hadn’t left for some reason. The way he’d sounded on the phone, Natalie wouldn’t have been surprised if he had. She wasn’t completely sure she could remember how to get back to his apartment if he had left. Surely Guy or Sabine would help if she got lost.

  As it turned out, she needn’t have worried about navigating unfamiliar neighborhoods of Chicago. The moment she skirted around a young couple and slipped inside the café, a man behind the counter motioned toward the back of the restaurant. “He’s back in your usual booth waiting for you.”

  “Thank you,” Natalie said, and was about to turn away, but something in the man’s expression caused her to pause. “Is he okay?”

  The guy hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. “He looked pretty hungover when he came in, but something else seemed wrong too. He looked pretty rough.”

  Even more concerned than before, Natalie thanked him hastily and moved as fast as she could through the busy restaurant without touching or bumping into anyone. She was through the bulk of the crowd, a few feet from their usual table, when she spotted him and stopped. Rough was putting it mildly. Natalie almost didn’t recognize him. He clearly hadn’t shaved in quite a while, he wasn’t wearing any socks for some reason, his hair was a mess, and she knew just from looking at his skin and eyes that he hadn’t been eating or sleeping. It was a look she was all too familiar with and had hoped never to see again.

  Her frantic dash to the café slowed to a crawl as she cautiously approached the table. Two feet away, she stopped and squeezed her hands together tightly. “Vance?”

  There was a small part of her that hoped she’d made a mistake and it wasn’t him. The alternative was that he’d left, and she didn’t want that either. Relief and shock crashed into her when he lifted his head and Natalie saw what remained of Vance Sullivan. Haunted was the best description she could think of for him. The dark circles around his eyes mixed with the sallow tint to his skin told of long sleepless nights punctuated by heavy drinking and mountains of regret and guilt.

  “Natalie, you came.” His voice was heavy. The weight of everything he carried was crushing him.

  “Of course I came, Vance. I told you I would.” Did he really think she wouldn’t have come? She was about to tell him that she’d come whenever he needed her, but a waitress walked up and spit out the day’s specials without bothering to ask if they wanted to hear them.

  Breathing deeply, Natalie reminded herself to be polite, but Vance cut in before she could say anything. “I’m not that hungry.”

  Sighing, Natalie knew that even if he didn’t feel hungry after consuming so many carbs in the form of alcohol, his body had to be craving real food. A spark of boldness pushed her to take control for his sake, which was more than a little frightening. “He’ll have coffee and a roast beef sandwich.” Vance tried to object, but was silenced by Natalie talking over him before she lost her nerve. “And I’ll have water with a club sandwich.”

  The waitress bobbed her head and jotted down the orders. About to turn around and head for the kitchen, Natalie held her back with one last request. “Could we get this to go?”

  “Sure, if you want,” the girl said before sauntering back to the kitchen.

  “You don’t want to stay?” Vance asked.

  It was so close to a whine, Natalie almost didn’t know how to respond. His unspoken accusation, that she didn’t want to stay with him, hung between them like a storm cloud heavy with rain. The crowded room was making her more than a little claustrophobic, but she had more rational reasons for wanting to leave. Least of which was Vance’s unkempt appearance.

  “I just thought you might be more comfortable talking away from all these people,” Natalie said.

  “Where would we go?” He looked up and really met her eyes for the first time since she sat down. He’d looked more sick than hungover when she first spotted him, but now she saw the glassy haze in his eyes. Natalie knew Vance needed to talk, and she would listen for as long as he wanted, but what he also needed—maybe even more—was some sleep.

  “I didn’t see your car outside, so I assume you must have taken a cab here,” she said, not adding the reason he didn’t feel up to driving, “but I can take you home if you want. We could talk there and then maybe you can get some rest.”

  Vance stared at her, like he couldn’t quite grasp what she was saying. “You…you’ll come to my apartment…with just me?”

  The enormity of what Natalie offered hit her on a delay. Somehow, a questionably coherent Vance had sniffed out the problem with that before she did. She’d been so intent on helping him, she hadn’t even considered her own limitations. But the offer had already been made. Gulping down her fear, she knew she couldn’t take it back. She was about to willingly put herself in an enclosed space with another human being. A man, no less. It was one of her biggest fears, but how could she say no? It was Vance.

  Chances were, Natalie told herself, he’d be out cold within fifteen minutes anyway. “Yes. I’ll make sure you eat a proper meal, get some rest, and I’ll even find you some socks as a bonus so your feet don’t freeze off. How does that sound?”

  “I have been sleeping,” Vance argued. It was weak and broke Natalie’s heart, but she didn’t let it show.

  “You’ve been passing out after consuming way too much liquor. That’s not the same as sleeping.”

  Vance frowned, his mind going somewhere else. “You trusted me once.”

  “I still do trust you,” Natalie said, confused by why he’d think otherwise.

  “But you shouldn’t. No one should.” His mouth fell down in what might be considered a pout. “Stephanie trusted me, and she died because I failed her.” His head fell down into his hands.

  “Stephanie died because a blood vessel in her brain burst,” Natalie said. At least, she was pretty sure that was what Guy had explained. “Nothing you did caused her death. You didn’t fail her. If anything, she failed you.”

  Vance’s eyes snapped up to hers, angry, but at the same time relieved as well. Maybe it was wrong of Natalie to say something unkind about Stephanie now that she was gone, but it was true. Steph had become a friend, one Natalie missed more than she would have expected to. Her joyful personality and kindness during their sessions had been like a balm for Natalie. She was a good person and Natalie wasn’t trying to tear her down, but what she had done to Vance was not kind in any way and it was tearing him apart.

  “I should have stayed with her,” Vance said as tears flooded his eyes but didn’t fall.

  Sighing, Natalie shook her head. “Maybe. I don’t know. It wouldn’t have changed what happened. Staying wouldn’t have erased the pain and anger you were dealing with that night, nothing could have, and there’s a good chance the fighting would have only escalated if you had stayed and the memory would be even more painful.”

  She wasn’t sure anything would ever erase Vance’s pain and guilt, to be perfectly honest. Her own wounds were so deep she didn’t think they could ever heal, and she had no idea how Vance was ever going to get over losing his girlfriend and two children he would never have the chance to know.

  “You can’t go back,” Natalie said, “nobody can. Maybe you wish you had stayed. Maybe Stephanie wished she hadn’t done what she
did. Maybe I…we all make choices that haunt us, but we can’t rewind and remake them hoping for a better outcome. Punishing yourself the way you are, it would break Steph’s heart to see you like this.”

  Vance didn’t get a chance to answer. The intruding waitress popped back up at their table with their meals bagged and ready to go. Natalie fished in her purse for her card and handed it over before she had a chance to leave. She wasn’t quite sure what had finally roused Vance from his apartment, but this was the last place he needed to be. The pair waited in silence as the waitress dashed off to run Natalie’s card. By the time she came back, Vance’s eyes were barely open and his mood was darker than ever.

  The waitress handed Natalie’s card back to her and leaned in close. “That guy’s not driving anywhere, right?”

  “Definitely not.”

  The waitress nodded at the wisdom of that choice and said a quick goodbye. Natalie turned her attention back to Vance, hoping he’d be able to get himself to the car without help. “Are you ready?”

  He didn’t look at her, just shrugged noncommittally. When Natalie stood, though, he followed her example and then shuffled out of the café behind her. Even though traffic was light and there weren’t nearly as many people on the streets as there had been when she’d arrived, anxiety gripped her as she looked at her car across the street. The last thing anyone needed was Vance getting hit by a car because he was too out of it to pay attention to oncoming traffic.

  Moving as close to him as she could handle, Natalie started talking as she urged him off the sidewalk. She babbled about her morning, her boss remembering Vance and sending his condolences, the lady she’d seen get her blouse caught in the copier from her office window, anything and everything to keep Vance from blanking out on her. It was the most talking she had done at once in, well, ever. Not that Vance seemed to notice.