Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 15

  “But I don’t want to feel like that for him, Lance. I really do love Milo. I want to be with Milo, not Braden. I don’t care how he makes me feel. I want Milo.”

  I want the future I have imagined. I want my little house in the suburbs and two point five kids. I. Want. Milo.

  “But think of what you could do with Braden,” Lance says.

  “I don’t care! I’ll lose Milo if I let Braden give me his Oath.”

  Lance puts his hand on my shoulder and waits until I’m looking at him. “What if you’re not strong enough to free the Ciphers by yourself? What if the only way to save them is to give in to Braden? Will you really let them die just to make sure you get your happily ever after with Milo?”

  Tears spring to my eyes. “Why can’t I have both? For once in my life, why can’t I have a happy ending like everyone else? This isn’t fair!”

  Pulling me into a hug, Lance says, “Libby, when has your life ever been fair? And who says anyone else gets a happy ending, either? You can’t think about things like that right now. There won’t be any future to worry about for any of us if we don’t rescue the Ciphers and do whatever it is we’re supposed to do with them. You have to stay focused on that. And you have to decide whether you’re willing to give up the lives of every Cipher just for the chance at a life with Milo.”

  I want to scream at the top of my lungs that Milo is more important to me than anything else. Let the Ciphers rot. They have no right to ask so much of me. Nobody does. It’s my life, damn it! Why don’t I get a say in how it will play out? I scream and rant at everything and nothing, though nobody can hear me. I feel as if I can scream forever, but the cold truth of what my life is eventually seeps back into me.

  I do have a choice.

  Lance is right.

  Just because the options majorly suck doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I can sit back and watch the world fall apart at my feet, but that won’t get me what I want, either. Doing nothing will get me killed. And then I really won’t get to spend the rest of my life with Milo.

  “Lance,” I finally say, “please don’t breathe a word of this to anyone. Braden especially.”

  “More secrets,” Lance says with a sigh. “I hate keeping secrets.”

  I fall back on my bed and pout. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

  “You have to let Braden give you his Oath, Libby.”

  “I know,” I say, though I have to tear the awful words from my lips, “but only if I’m desperate.”

  I just wish desperate weren’t the theme of my life.

  Chapter 1

  5

  Trust

  For what seems like the millionth morning in a row, I wake up knowing it is going to be a positively awful day. My first clue is opening my eyes less than three hours after closing them and finding Lance sprawled next to me. He’s so exhausted I can’t even wake him. I am forced to shower and get dressed while he snores. I didn’t even know he snored. I’ll have to tease him about that later. Just not in front of Milo, or Milo will wonder how I know that. It’s only by drizzling icy water on his face that I get him to wake up before it’s time for Milo to come and get me for school. I watch his car disappear only minutes before Milo pulls up.

  Milo instantly notices my less-than-stellar appearance. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Fine, just go.”

  I hunker down in his bulky sweatshirt and bite my cheek to keep from spilling out everything that happened last night. I realized sometime in the predawn hours before I lost all consciousness that there is absolutely no way to get started on my plan to free the Ciphers without explaining to him how last night I did exactly what he told me not to do. It’s not going to be pleasant, and I’m going to need to do some serious planning of my own before I can even think about facing such a scene. I have eight hours to figure it out. Déjà vu, anyone? It sounds impossible given how much sleep I got last night, but I’ll figure something out.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay home, today?” Milo asks. “You look like you’re getting sick.”

  I love his concern. I take his hand and lean my head against his shoulder before saying, “Can’t stay home sick because I’d have to have a parent call the school and explain. Since I don’t have a parent at the moment, I’d just be asking for the Concealment Officers to come hunt me down. I’m too tired for that.”

  Faced with no other options, Milo drives me to school. He has no idea about my excursion last night, so he doesn’t press me for more answers. However, when he sees a decidedly bushed Lance in the hallway, Milo scrunches his face in thought. I kiss him fiercely and dash down the hallway to get as far from them from possible. He will get his answers tonight.

  My limited energy finally stalls in third period. I sink down in my desk and fall asleep in the middle of one of Mr. Carlton’s lectures about the importance of math in the real world. I’m forced to wake up and stay awake for gym, but crash again as soon as I touch my chair in Spiritualism. With almost five hours of sleep now, I meet Milo for Perception and do my best to pretend I’m as close to fine as I ever am. I have to resort to pinching myself every few minutes to stay awake, but I make it. Not until seventh hour when my Naturalism class takes a rather chilly trip outside—which sets me to shivering again—do I get the chance to pull out my cell phone unobserved.

  I open my contacts and scroll down to Braden’s number. I pause for a moment as I realize he’s put his full name in. His last name makes me stop. Hunter. My quiet giggle draws the attention of the person standing next to me. As soon as he realizes the noise came from me, he turns back and sidesteps to get away. I ignore him and look back at the phone. Braden really wasn’t kidding when he said he was a hunter. His awful pun makes me smile. It’s the first time I’ve smiled all day.

  I select his name and start texting.

  Need u 2night.

  A second later the phone vibrates in my hand and I open his response.

  Can’t stay away, huh?

  Is it possible to roll your eyes at someone through a text message? I cut off his banter with my reply.

  7156 Coronado Drive. 6pm

  His response takes a while to come back this time.

  Milo’s house? Why?

  Time 2 plan.

  Again, the response takes several minutes before coming back.

  You’re telling Milo about last night?

  This time it’s my turn to hesitate.

  Have to. Can’t explain everything without telling.

  Have you changed your mind? he texts back.

  No. Will u come?

  Yes.

  I slip my phone back into my pocket after giving him a few more instructions and actually try to pay attention to my teacher, Mrs. Davis. The cold is at least keeping me awake. I’m shivering pretty badly by the time we’re finally allowed to go back to the classroom. Everyone else is warmed up a few minutes after returning to class, but I spend the rest of the hour trying to keep my jacket around me as tightly as possible.

  Mrs. Davis notices my shaking after a few minutes. Apparently she isn’t inspired to help me, though, because she goes on with her lesson without saying anything to me. Oh well, it’s not like the school nurse would actually be able to help me get over the aftereffects of an extended trip to the spirit world. She’d probably just stare at me as if I were crazy. I go through the rest of Mrs. Davis’s class and Mr. Walters’ class devoting all my currently-stunted mental power to planning for tonight.

  When we get back to Milo’s house after picking up Celia from a dance rehearsal, I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize neither of Milo’s parents are home yet. His dad will be gone most of the night, but it’s Mrs. Hanover I’m really glad to have a break from. She is sweet and wonderful when she and Milo aren’t fighting with each other, but I want to discuss everything about Braden without her here. If she knows what a Spiritual Companion is, I have no doubt she’ll see the signs of it and possibly blurt it out in front of everyone. Not only doe
s Celia get her perky attitude from her mother, but she gets her struggle with keeping secrets from her as well. Best to give her the Cliff’s Notes version of everything later.

  Celia bounces off to her room to change her clothes, and Lance, Milo, and I head into the den. Milo pulls me into his arms right away. I snuggle against him as Lance flips on the TV and searches for a sporting event of some kind to watch. He knows I’m going to explain last night to Milo, so he stays unusually quiet and acts pleasant to Milo as I try to work up the courage to start talking. I can’t manage it before the doorbell rings. Well, maybe Milo will be less likely to freak out if there’s more of an audience. Maybe I’m just a chicken.

  Milo gets up and let’s both Casey and Mr. Walters in. When I asked them to meet with us earlier this afternoon, I was greeted by with rather different responses. The gleam in Mr. Walters’ eyes was a little disconcerting, but the fear in Casey’s didn’t surprise me at all. She is definitely not the fighting type. After a few minutes of catching up on whether they were able to make any progress on some of the things we talked about in class, we fall back into silence. With the distractions gone, my mind turns back to last night. For some reason it suddenly feels about twenty degrees hotter in here. I glance up at the clock above the gigantic fireplace across from me. Five-fifty.

  My heart starts racing. He’ll be here any second. I’ve run out of time. I have to start talking now. I have to prepare Milo for what I’m about to drop on him. If Braden shows up here without me explaining why to Milo, things will get ugly very fast. Trying to keep myself from fainting is a strain even when I tap my Naturalism for help. As connected as we are, Lance picks up on my anxiety and mutes the TV. Milo catches the silent exchange and sits up straighter, his expression reverting to suspicious irritation.

  “Okay, what’s with you two? You’re both exhausted, and you’ve been acting weird all day. I want to know what’s going on,” Milo says.

  “I, uh, made it to the spirit world last night,” I say with a hopeful smile. Good news first, then bad.

  Milo lights up with excitement, as do Mr. Walters and Casey. “Libby, that’s amazing! How did you do it? After your session with my mom went so badly yesterday she was sure you’d have to find someone else to help you get there.”

  Here we go. “I did have help, Milo.”

  “What do you mean?” he asks, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Maybe giving me the benefit of doubt, his eyes travel to Casey. “Casey? I thought you didn’t know how to break a block.”

  Casey shakes her head. “I don’t.”

  “It wasn’t Casey,” I say. I take a deep breath. “Before you get mad…”

  Milo’s entire body turns rock solid.

  “Milo, please just listen for a minute. I didn’t have any other choice!”

  Slowly, Milo stands and walks across the room from me. I can’t feel anything from him. He’s always been very adept at hiding his emotions from me, but I could always feel him when they were really intense. It’s a testament to how far he’s come in a few short weeks that he’s blocking me completely right now. I know he must be furious, angry, hurt. I stay back, crushed by the weight of his silence.

  “You went behind my back to the one person I specifically said not to trust!” Milo snarls.

  “I know I did, Milo, and I’m sorry, but you heard your mom yesterday. Milo, she said she couldn’t help me. And after Casey told us about the Ciphers disappearing, I felt like I had no other choice.”

  “You told me you wouldn’t go to him!”

  My eyes drop to the floor. No I didn’t. I never promised him I wouldn’t accept Braden’s help. I only ever agreed to let his mom try to help me one more time. I have no desire to point that out. My guilt for going behind his back makes me deserve the accusation whether it’s founded or not.

  “Why would you do something like that?”

  “I had to. The Ciphers were in trouble, are in trouble.”

  It’s a valid reason, but Milo’s anger hasn’t dissipated in the least. “And you had to lie to me about it?”

  “I tried talking to you about it before, but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “What was there to listen to? Braden is a Guardian. He has no place in this mission at all!”

  My understanding hits a wall, but pure aggravation finds a way through. “That is not your decision to make,” I say tightly. “I love you, and I want your input on everything we do, but this is my life, Milo. I’m the one who has to defeat the Guardians. I’m the one who will die if I don’t. This was my decision to make, and I made it. I’m sorry you didn’t agree with me, but I had to do this.”

  Milo storms over to me, in my face and even more irate than before. “We could have found someone else. Anyone else!”

  “I didn’t need to find anyone else,” I say, trying to make him understand. “I tried to tell you that Braden is different. He wants to help us. He let you go even though he shouldn’t have, and he got punished pretty severely for doing it. He warned me that even though the Ciphers stood up for me, the Guardians freaked out after the theater and he told me I should be extra careful. He watched out for Casey after I helped her and the school hated her. He’s even willing to take a huge risk and spy inside the Guardians for us.”

  Everything I just said is completely true. I think they are good enough reasons for him to at least consider what Braden could do for us. Milo has the opposite reaction. Milo’s slate gray eyes turn as dark as his diktats. I don’t understand why until he speaks.

  “How do you know all of this?” He closes his eyes, refusing to look at me. “Last night wasn’t the first time you talked to him, was it?”

  “No,” I say so quietly I hope he doesn’t hear me. My heart deflates when the entire room goes silent. Everyone heard me.

  Milo’s response is a single word. “When?”

  Being honest might make things worse, but I don’t want to lie to him again. “The night of the theater, he came here and found me when I was out on your porch so he could warn me about the Guardians. He showed up at school the first day back after the break, and he’s been around since then.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about him right away?”

  “I was afraid of what would happen. You hate the Guardians so much. I was scared you’d get in a fight and get hurt, or get in trouble for hurting Braden.” Despite Braden’s doubt of Milo’s abilities, I have no doubt Milo would have hurt him. Maybe he wouldn’t win the fight, but with Milo’s rapidly growing fury, neither would Braden. Pure hatred for fuel can get you a long way.

  “You were protecting me?” Milo scoffs. “No, Libby, you were lying to me. How dare you! How can you even think of trusting those murderers? They tried to lock me up! They almost killed Celia! I won’t have anything to do with the Guardians.”

  “Braden wasn’t the one who came after Celia that night, Milo. Not all of the Guardians are like that. He wants to help us. He already has,” I say desperately. I really wish so many people weren’t here. Why didn’t I start this conversation earlier? Because I’m a coward, and now I’m paying for it. I have to try and convince him, though. “I never would have gotten through my block last night without him!”

  “That’s a bunch of crap, Libby! If he could do it, so could my mom. She’s been a Spiritualist her whole life,” Milo argues. “She would have figured it out!”

  “It wasn’t about figuring anything out. She admitted to me that she didn’t have enough talent to do it, and she never would!”

  I’m shouting at him, but I can’t help myself. He has to understand. I’ll tell him about Braden being my Companion if I have to. This is more important than anything, more important than us. “If she could have helped me, she would have done it yesterday. Blocks are rare. She didn’t even realize that was what my problem was until you told her. Even then, she isn’t strong enough when it comes to the spirit world side of her talent. She couldn’t help me. Braden could. He was my only chance at getting to the Ciphers, so I took it.”


  Milo throws his hands up. “Why him? What makes him so special, Libby?”

  I choke on the answer I almost spit out. I can feel Lance squirming behind me. Calm down and keep your head, I tell myself. “He had a block when he was younger. He knew how to break mine because he had to go through the same thing.”

  “You can’t trust someone like him! He could have hurt you. He could have killed you! Do you even understand that?”

  “Yes, I do, Milo. I tried to convince you to be there to protect me, but you wouldn’t.”

  “You didn’t even give me a chance after you decided to ignore what I told you!”

  A sliver of steel creeps back into my spine. “Would you have agreed to it if I had asked again?”

  He doesn’t answer. Instead he asks another question. “So you turned to Lance?”

  “What other choice did I have?”

  Again, his only response is silence.

  “I know what’s at stake, Milo. The lives of every Cipher in the world depend on me being able to save them. I know it was a risk to trust him, but what would my life be worth if I let all of them die? I had to do it.”

  Turning away from me, Milo puts his hands on his head and doesn’t say anything. I still can’t feel his emotions, but I can feel his Perception working hard to keep it that way, and hopefully to calm him down, too. He speaks without turning around, flat and unpleasant. “Maybe you had to take the chance, but you didn’t have to lie to me.”

  “I’m sorry I lied, and I’m so sorry I hurt you, but I did what I thought was right by accepting Braden’s help.”

  “What have you proved by doing this?” Milo demands. “So he showed you how to break your block. He’s probably going to run back to his Captain and give him all the juicy details! Whatever we gained by him helping you is going to be blown in a few hours if it’s not already. He hasn’t done anything but what his Captain told him to do, get close to you and gather information. You’re smarter than that, Libby! What were you thinking?”