The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) Page 21

  “I’ll call you later, okay?” Vance begged.

  Frowning, Guy nodded. “There are things we should discuss, yes? I will expect your call this evening, or I can call you once Warren is put to bed.”

  “Fine,” Vance said, just wanting him to go.

  Guy said his goodbyes and started on his way back down the hallway. Closing the door, Vance dropped the bag to the side of the door, but couldn’t make himself look at Natalie. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what she was thinking.

  “How does chicken vino sound?” Natalie asked. “I’m starving, and I assume you didn’t eat lunch either, but if you’d rather have something else I can see what I have in the pantry.”

  The bizarreness of her words pulled his head up. He stared at her in shock. “What?”

  “Is that your usual answer to a dinner suggestion?” The corner of her mouth hinted at a teasing smile, but nerves kept it from fully revealing itself.

  “You’re not going to say anything about this?” Vance jabbed a finger in the direction of the duffle bag.

  Natalie shrugged. “You’re not ready to go home, and I know part of the reason is that you’re worried about my safety. I get it, Vance. I really do.” She folded her arms across her middle. “It took me by surprise, but…”

  She looked down at her toes, distracting herself by scrunching them against the cold floor.

  “But what?” Vance all but demanded.

  Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she held on tight as she forced herself to look up at him. One long, slow breath delayed her answer even further. Finally, she released her lip and said, “I didn’t want you to leave anyway.”

  “I’ll sleep on the couch,” Vance said quickly, desperately. Despite falling asleep with her earlier, he wanted to make sure she knew he had no delusions about it happening again. He was shocked she had agreed so easily, but feared she’d wise up at any second and tell him to go home. What he was asking of her was ridiculous. He knew that even though it hadn’t stopped him from asking.

  Natalie’s head shook so slightly, he almost missed it. “No.”

  That was all she said. At first, Vance couldn’t figure out whether she had changed her mind and was telling him to go away, or if she really meant what he thought she meant. Finally, he had to ask. “No what?”

  “It would honestly freak me out more to have you in a separate room than…than with me,” Natalie said quickly. “Because of the noise, and I mean, well, it’s not that…bad. It’s good, I mean, having you there. In bed. My bed. Sleeping. On your side. I mean, the other side. It’s comforting…strangely enough.”

  Vance couldn’t have been more blown away if Spider-Man had suddenly flung himself through the window and carried Natalie off. “You’re serious?”

  She bit her lip again, hard. It took a second, but her head nodded sharply twice.

  What had just happened? It was too weird to even process. His brain struck out to find something easier to deal with. “Chicken vino, sure. Sounds great. I’m going to take a shower, okay?”

  It was Natalie’s turn to be stunned. Her expression crinkled for a moment at his change in direction, but she mumbled, “Yeah, sure,” and Vance took that as his exit cue.

  It took him a few tries before finding the guest bathroom. He had seen the door to the master bath when putting Natalie in bed, but he was already too freaked out by the situation to even think of stepping into such a personal space. As agitated as he was, he expected to be in and out of the shower quickly, but as soon as the warm water began cascading down his back he felt the tension in his body slowly begin to release.

  As he stood under the hot water not actually doing anything, his mind struggled to figure a few things out. Something had happened to him in the last twenty-four hours and he wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Natalie was at the epicenter of the change. Part of it was him as well, though. And Stephanie.

  Vance still harbored an enormous amount of guilt over Stephanie’s death. That certainly hadn’t changed. Natalie’s acceptance and understanding of his guilt, attempt at self-destruction, and confusion had helped calm his chaotic emotions and thoughts and made him realize that while he was still guilt-ridden over Stephanie’s death, he was also still very angry with her.

  What she had done hurt him deeply. The night it happened, he had been too choked by everything to process the bigger picture. He’d been upset and shocked when he thought Steph had left him. Realizing the truth had shifted his whole mindset, but he realized now that as much as he had loved Stephanie, what had happened was something they would never have been able to overcome. She had cut him too deeply for things to go back to what they had been before.

  Maybe that subconscious realization was what had freed him. He looked at Natalie differently now. Part of the change in the way he saw her had to do with the change in their relationship, but not all of it. The moment he had looked at her and seen her as a woman and not just someone in need of help had scared him, but it excited him as well. Listening to her story, wanting so badly to pull her into his arms, that faint sense of attraction had only increased.

  Part of him was screaming that it was too soon, inappropriate on more than one level. He knew that loud, obnoxious voice was his own, and it was right, but what if he ignored it?

  That brought on a whole other set of concerns as Vance finally started washing himself. He was attracted to Natalie. And then what? He couldn’t touch her. He couldn’t really be with her. Maybe that was okay, though? It wasn’t like Vance needed or even wanted to jump into another physical relationship so soon. He had been with Stephanie for so long, he didn’t even know what it would feel like to be alone again. Maybe that was what he really needed. Perhaps with Natalie’s fears, close friends was all they would ever be and his attraction to her would change over time. It might only have been a product of his screwed up state of mind anyway.

  The truth of the matter was, Vance thought as he began toweling off, he needed Natalie right now and she needed him. The rest would all have to be figured out later. That, he was pretty sure, he could deal with.

  Feeling significantly calmer, Vance dug out fresh clothes from the duffle bag and set to work making himself look like he hadn’t spent the last several weeks drinking and lying on the couch. He was making fairly good progress on turning himself back into a human until he realized Guy hadn’t brought him his electric razor, but a beard trimmer he had never even used. Normally clean shaven, Vance scrubbed at the itchy growth on his face. The trimmer would have to do, and when he finished, he actually thought it didn’t look too bad. Stephanie would have hated it, but it was his choice now and he actually kind of liked it. It wouldn’t be so bad once it stopped itching, anyway.

  Unsure of what to do with his bag, he set it just inside the master bedroom door and continued on to the kitchen. The noise of his sock-clad feet shuffling across the floor startled Natalie into dropping the serving spoon she’d been stirring some sort of sauce with. Hands pressed to her chest, she watched as Gypsy dove for the spoon and started licking as fast as she could.

  “Sorry,” Vance said. “I should have thought about the fact that I’d probably scare you if I didn’t announce myself. I know you’re not used to having people here with you.”

  “It’s fine,” she said after taking a deep breath. Shaking her head, she wrestled the spoon from Gypsy and dropped it in the sink before grabbing a new one. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

  Vance walked toward the kitchen, but stayed on the edge in order to give her plenty of distance. “Apologize for what?”

  Her eyes stayed focused on the sauce pan. “For dumping all of that on you when all you wanted to do was crash here for a few days to clear your head.”

  “You don’t have to apologize.” Vance ran a hand through his hair, trying to put his thoughts into words that didn’t sound idiotic. “What you said about me being worried about you and not ready to go home, that was true, but…I also didn’t want to leave
because…I feel better around you too.”

  Natalie’s head turned just enough so she could see Vance out of the corner of her eye. “Really?” she whispered.

  He smiled. “Really.” Taking a few steps, he moved into the kitchen without crowding her. “I was thinking…you don’t have to go back to work until Monday, right?”

  She looked over at him, breath held as she nodded.

  “Would you be okay with me staying until then?” He waited, hoping she wouldn’t turn him away. It was fairly obvious that her boss had given her the time off in order to take care of him, so he felt justified in asking it, but he also wanted the time to sort out a few things away from the influence and memory of Stephanie so close and oppressive.

  Breathing out slowly, Natalie’s whole body seemed to exhale. “Monday’s fine,” she said quietly.

  “Thank you.” Vance attempted to lighten the mood by asking if she needed any help with dinner, but she politely kicked him out of the kitchen. Not long after, she brought two dinner plates to the living room and set them on the coffee table. Vance raised an eye at the plate next to his. Natalie still stood, twisting her hands together as she stared at the empty spot on the couch.

  “We can eat at the dining table if that’s easier on you,” Vance offered.

  “No, no,” she said nervously. “Watching TV will help. I’ll be fine.”

  Vance wasn’t so sure about that, but he didn’t argue. It took her a few minutes to work up the courage to sit down next to him. Her body remained stiff as she took her first few bites. Trying to ease her tension, Vance picked up the remote and found a sitcom he enjoyed watching. He wasn’t sure if Natalie would like it, but all she cared about was distraction, and he thought the show would fit the bill. He wasn’t sure if it was the show or inoculation to his presence, but after about half an hour, she finally started to relax.

  “What do you usually do in the evenings?” Vance asked when they had both finished eating.

  For some reason, Natalie blushed. “You’ll think it’s silly.”

  “Promise I won’t.”

  Natalie’s mouth twisted to one side as she considered his sincerity. She must have come to some sort of decision because she eventually stood and walked over to the TV cabinet. Without giving him any hints, she touched a section of a sleek black box and opened a cabinet door to remove two gaming controllers. She looked embarrassed, but Vance just grinned.

  “Video games? That’s what you do in your free time?”

  “It relieves a lot of stress.” She shrugged. Vance reached for a controller, which made her smile. “Do you play?”

  “I used to,” Vance admitted. “Medical school and all that didn’t leave me much time to play and then work kept me busy, but I used to love playing. I wouldn’t even know what kind of games are out there now.”

  His eagerness and excitement helped to dissipate her nerves and she made her way back to the couch. “I was never allowed to play video games growing up, but I’ve heard the newer ones are pretty different from what you used to have.”

  Brushing off her warning, Vance said, “Come on, let’s play something. It can’t be that different.”

  Natalie laughed, actually laughed, and used her controller to click on the first game in her tray. Vance had to admit the graphics had improved greatly since his days of video game playing, but what really threw him for a loop were all the controls, weapons, need for planning and tactics to survive a fight, and how badly he got trashed by Natalie.

  She offered more than once to switch to something a little more his speed, but he was determined and brushed her off every time she offered. It was a hit to his masculinity to be beaten by her so many times, but listening to her laugh and seeing her relax was worth the humiliation. Vance didn’t know how long they played, and since neither of them had to get up early the next morning, they didn’t bother to keep track of the time. It wasn’t until Natalie started yawning that Vance finally admitted to her superior skills and accepted defeat.

  “You really didn’t do that bad for a first timer,” she said with the most genuine smile he had ever seen on her face. It struck him again how beautiful she was and he struggled to stay focused.

  “I’ve spent way too many years watching the fashion channel in the evenings. This was actually a lot of fun, even if I died a million times.” It was true too. You had to be competitive and slightly obsessive to make it through all the training he had been through, but it felt really good to just cut loose and do something completely for fun.

  Natalie smiled. “I’ll get you whipped into shape before you go home. Maybe I’ll even convince you to get your own console and then we could play together in the evenings online.”

  The thought of going home still put him on edge, but he knew he’d have to eventually, and spending his evenings with Natalie online, if not in real life, didn’t sound so bad. “Sounds like a trip to an electronics store is in order.”

  After shutting down the console, Natalie yawned again. “I didn’t mean to keep you up so late,” she said apologetically.

  He brushed off her concern and was about to say he didn’t have anywhere to be in the morning, but that’s when he realized the games being over meant it was time to go to bed. A cold sweat seemed to break out over his entire body. “I really should sleep on the couch,” he said, almost pleading.

  Natalie didn’t say anything. Instead, she stood and walked down the hall to her bedroom. The light spilling out of the room welcomed him. She said she wanted him in the same room with her. Maybe hearing even small noises from another room really would keep her up all night. What if that wasn’t the only reason? Vance’s heart started racing. Her reasoning couldn’t have anything to do with a mutual attraction. She’d never given him any signs of that at all. They were just friends.

  He told himself that repeatedly as he stood slowly and began walking down the hall. He passed by her bedroom and went to the guest bathroom where he’d left his toothbrush and toothpaste. The entire time he was brushing his teeth, his mind raced. He felt like a teenager asking himself over and over again if Natalie felt anything for him other than friendship. With her fears, it shouldn’t have mattered to him one way or another, but it did. It mattered because if he knew for sure that she felt something for him, not touching her would become about a million times more difficult.

  When he finally made it to the bedroom, Natalie was waiting for him. Standing at the end of the bed with a pillow clutched to her chest, she was biting her lip again. Her eyes darted between him and the bed, and part of Vance hoped she’d changed her mind and was just trying to find a nice way to tell him. “Is there a side you prefer?” Natalie asked. “I’ve never…uh, had to worry about that before.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Vance choked out.

  Natalie nodded and went to the side closest to the door. She was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, but she had taken her hair down from her ponytail, which she rarely did, and the casual look was killing Vance. Stephanie was always made up, and she was beautiful to him no matter what, but he’d always loved it when she went for a more casual look. The effect was just as distracting from Natalie.

  “I don’t think I can do this.” It burst out of Vance’s mouth when he simply couldn’t contain it anymore.

  Natalie looked over at him in surprise halfway through turning down the blankets. She straightened and let her arms fall to her sides. “You don’t have to,” she said quietly.

  “But you want me to?”

  She nodded.

  He wanted to as well, but he didn’t know if he could keep his promises to her. “Stephanie, she…she liked to cuddle. I, uh, it’s what I’m used to. I mean, I might…in my sleep, I might touch you.”

  Natalie frowned, but it was faint. “I usually have nightmares at night,” she said. “Every night, actually. Not just at night. Any time I go to sleep.” She stopped looking down and met his eyes. “Earlier today, when we fell asleep, I didn’t have nightma
res and I didn’t wake up scared.”

  “I…” Vance had no idea what to say to that, or even what it meant. His original concerns were still chewing at him.

  “If you touch me while we’re asleep…I think I’ll be okay,” she said thoughtfully. “If I wake up like that, I may push you away and be a little freaked out, but I won’t be mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  Vance shook his head. “I don’t care if you’re mad at me. I’m worried about hurting you…like last time.”

  “It wouldn’t be like last time,” Natalie promised.

  The firmness in her voice put the argument to rest. Vance still didn’t believe her and was terrified of waking up with her in his arms only to have her wake up and panic. She was determined to try, though, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell her no. Rather than argue, he grabbed his pajamas out of the bag and disappeared back to the bathroom to change.

  He had been hoping she’d be asleep by the time he came back, but Natalie was still wide awake. She was turned away from him as he lay down on the bed. That was good. Lying flat on his back, he stared at the ceiling and willed himself to fall into a deep sleep and not move a single inch.

  Despite his own reservations about the arrangement, his presence didn’t seem to affect Natalie’s ability to fall asleep. Or Gypsy’s, who was snoring softly next to the bed. Within ten minutes, Natalie’s breathing had deepened and evened out as she slept. Vance thought perhaps he could fall asleep then, but it wasn’t that easy. Not even close.

  Shortly after falling asleep, Natalie rolled, putting her face to face with him, though she never woke up. He froze. A few minutes later, she shifted again and one arm stretched out with her hand landing on his chest. He nearly jumped out of the bed in fright, thinking she’d wake up and have a meltdown, but nothing happened. Natalie continued to sleep, shifting and moving every once in a while.