Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 8

  “Really?” Braden asks. “I would have thought it would be the other way around.”

  “No kidding.” Now can I go to bed? Please?

  “Oh well, I guess it works just as well this way,” Braden says. “I dislike Lance even more than Milo.”

  “Works for what?”

  He moves toward me. I try to shut the door on him, but his Speed catches me first. The second his lips touch mine fire scorches its way through my body. I can’t resist his warmth. I can feel my hand trembling on the door knob. It’s begging me to reach for him, but I can’t move. I can only stand there trapped by desire. Slowly, Braden pulls back. I move toward him, my hand leaving the door knob, but rational thought slaps me across the face and I stop.

  Braden’s fingers caress my cheek. He leans forward, and says, “Just let me know if you want to change your mind about that reason.”

  I watch him leave. I stand there in the freezing cold long after his car lights have disappeared. When my fingers and toes start to lose feeling, I close the door and slump against it, landing in a miserable puddle on the floor. I groan and drop my head to my knees. There’s no way Lance didn’t feel that.

  Chapter 8

  Possibilities

  “So,” Lance says as soon as he joins me in the gym, “I thought you were going home alone last night.”

  He tries for his usual confident swagger, but I can hear bitter anger roiling underneath. I knew this was coming. I had hoped that, for once, my fantastically bad luck would pass me by.

  “I did go home alone last night,” I say casually.

  For a few seconds he doesn’t say anything. When Lance promised to back off from trying to break up me and Milo I had hoped that meant he would stop harassing me about what Milo and I did together. No such luck. What Milo and I do when we’re alone isn’t any of his business. Lance knows all of this, but he can’t stay silent.

  “Don’t lie to me, Libby.”

  “Why does everyone keep saying that to me?” I snap. Actually, why does everyone keep catching me in my lies? I’m usually better at deception than this.

  Lance rounds on me, towering over me with his anger. “I know you were with Milo last night.”

  “Let’s get started, class!” Guardian Clement bellows.

  Lance grunts, but steps away from me and faces our Speed and Strength teacher. Hope that I’ll be able to avoid this conversation entirely puts a slight bounce in my step. Until Guardian Clement speaks again.

  “Okay, class, I want you to partner up. We’re starting our mid-year evaluations today.”

  He starts handing out clipboards to each pair. Before I can force someone else to be my partner, Lance grabs my wrist. My teeth grind together painfully. Milo should be in this class with me. I unlocked his talents. He has Speed and Strength. But since I’m not an official Inquisitor, the school refuses to accept the results of Milo’s second Inquest. Even though his first Inquest was fraudulent, that’s the one they’re sticking with. Idiots.

  Milo would be my only hope of partnering with someone besides Lance, anyway. It’s not like anyone in this class would take me. Or Lance, for that matter. Not anymore. Guardian Clement doesn’t even look at us as he drops a clipboard in Lance’s hands. Lance used to be his pet. But that was before the theater. Once he saw Lance working with me to save Milo, that was the end of his favoritism. He can’t kick Lance out of his class for his betrayal, but he’s made no secret of the fact the he’ll personally make sure Lance is never initiated as a full Guardian.

  Supporting me killed Lance’s lifelong dream of following his father, but he has never complained about it. I asked him once, a few days after the theater, why he jumped up there with me and destroyed everything he had worked for. His answer was simple and verging on heart melting. He said he did it because I was worth it. He knows we’re through, but I know he won’t turn away from me regardless of what our futures might hold. And not because of his Guardian Oath, but because I think he’s finally realized that it just isn’t in him to turn his back on someone he loves—and has loved his entire life.

  Apparently that’s enough to keep him going in the face of his former mentor hating him. He takes the clipboard with a polite nod. Maybe his good mood has more to do with getting me alone, though. Lance yanks me toward the corner of the gym eagerly. Releasing me once we’re away from the rest of the class, Lance says, “Sit ups. Three minutes. Go.”

  I flop down on the mat and start working in silence. If only Lance were kind enough to do the same.

  “Look, I know we aren’t together anymore, but I can’t stand it when you lie to me. All that time growing up, dating, I thought I knew everything about you. Finding out you were lying about almost everything the whole time … that hurt more than anything,” he says.

  “But, Lance,” I argue, still pumping out sit ups, “you know why I had to lie to you. I couldn’t tell anyone I was the Destroyer.”

  “One hundred,” Lance says, dutifully keeping track of my sit ups. These tests are annoying, but it is nice not to have to hide my talents so much anymore. I try to focus on the movements of my muscles. Lance stays with our conversation. “You could have told me.”

  I think his own actions have already proved that statement wrong. “No, I couldn’t have. I couldn’t risk anyone figuring it out. Look what happened when you did find out.”

  Lance’s eyes flash with dark anger. “That was after almost a year of Guardian Clement shoving anti-Destroyer crap down my throat! If you had told me before my Inquest, before the training, I could have prepared. I never would have reacted like that.”

  I freeze halfway through a sit up. “No … You still … You would’ve ….”

  “No,” Lance says, “I never would have tried to hurt you if I’d known beforehand. If you would have told me before Guardian Clement got to me, I would have been able to ignore what he was saying. I thought I was protecting you by listening to him. I swallowed every bit of his rhetoric like it was candy. You should have told me everything.”

  “I …” Could that really be true? Would Lance actually have supported me back then as he is now? I thought for a while that Lance’s main reason for sticking with me, other than his hormones, was his guilt for trying to kill me. Is this the true Lance instead of the one who pulled his knife without thinking that night? The possibilities of what might have been if I had only trusted him make me sink back down to the mat. If he hadn’t tried to murder me that night, we never would have broken up. I never would have felt the stab of his betrayal, the crushing loneliness of thinking I had been abandoned again.

  But I never would have met Milo, either.

  I honestly don’t know how to feel about this realization. There’s really only one thing I can say. “I’m so sorry, Lance.”

  He sighs. “I just wish you would have trusted me.”

  “It wasn’t a matter of trust, Lance.” Until I actually saw him draw his blade that night, I never believed he would hurt me. Never. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of losing you. I thought I’d scare you away, not that you wouldn’t keep my secret. I wanted to keep you as long as possible.”

  “You wouldn’t have lost me,” Lance says. “You still haven’t.”

  I sit back up and push a stand of hair out of my face. Forget the sit-ups. I’ve already done more than anyone else will do in the entire three minutes. “Lance …”

  “Look, Libby, I’m not trying to change your mind about me. I know we’re never going to date again, but I hope you agree that we’re back to being friends. All I’m asking is for you to be honest with me from here on out. After the lies you’ve told me, and everything I’ve given up for you,” he says, gesturing at Guardian Clement, “I think I deserve at least that.”

  Trust isn’t an easy thing for me, but I know he’s right. Well, right in every way but one. “Lance, I won’t hold anything back from you when it comes to freeing the Ciphers and whatever other missions we take on, but my relationship with Milo is none of yo
ur business.”

  “Libby, please,” Lance begs.

  “Why do you need to know that?” I demand.

  “Because I still don’t trust him, and I think he’s an idiot who’s clearly not good enough for you.”

  “Not a valid reason,” I say. “Milo has never given me or you any reason to doubt him or to think he’s going to hurt me. I’ve put up with your suspicions because I know you really believe Milo is dangerous, but until you have actual proof of him being a problem, I don’t want to hear another word about it. And Milo is not an idiot. Quit talking about him like he’s beneath you or you won’t get another word out of me about anything, including missions.”

  “Come on …”

  “No, Lance, I mean it. And besides, I wasn’t lying to you when I said I went home alone. I wasn't with Milo last night. He dropped me off at the motel, and then he went home. Maybe you should trust me a little more.”

  His mouth pops open to argue, but he stops himself. It takes him a moment to continue. “You woke me up last night. It wasn’t pleasant. It felt a lot like how I used to feel when we were alone.” Lance closes his eyes and shakes his head. “It hurt more than anything to think you and Milo were …”

  “We weren’t!” I hiss. “I wasn't ready to go that far with you, and I’m not ready for that with Milo, either. I’m not lying when I say I wasn't with Milo last night.”

  “Then what was going on? You woke me up from a pretty deep sleep. That wasn’t some reaction to a movie or a dream. It was too strong for that.”

  Nothing I say is going to make him back down. Lance is relentless when he gets something between his teeth. He’ll badger me until I break. I resort to begging. “Lance, please just leave this alone.”

  “I want an explan …”

  “Class!” Guardian Clement calls out. “Gather round, I want you all to meet someone.”

  The static electricity that runs over my skin makes me jump to my feet, but I don’t turn around. Lance is staring at me, and for once I’m glad of it. I reach for him to make sure he keeps his eyes on me, but his gaze slides past me and his eyes light up with fire. One by one his muscles tense under my hands. The force of him trying to push past my body nearly topples me. I’ve never seen him tap this much power. I have to summon up every ounce of Strength in my body to hold him back without hurting him.

  “No, Lance, please don’t,” I gasp.

  “Let go of me. You don’t see who it is. It’s …” My pleading expression begs him to stop. And then he catches on. “You know who it is, don’t you?”

  Lance shakes his head in confusion. “Why are you trying to stop me? That’s the guy that nearly killed Milo. He might be here for you this time.”

  “He’s not.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “He’s just here to help Guardian Clement and patrol the school. Braden is our new school Guardian. His Captain sent him here to keep an eye on me, not to kill me,” I say in a rush.

  “And you know that how?”

  “He told me, okay?”

  “When?” Lance demands.

  Holding Lance back is getting even harder. My feet slide across the slippery mat a few inches. “A few weeks ago. He pulled me out of Spiritualism to let me know he was here.”

  Lance’s eyes fly wide. My shoulders slump. I really shouldn’t have said that much.

  “Spiritualism?” Lance hisses, grabbing me roughly by the shoulder. My nose is millimeters away from his. “Those weird feelings I was getting from you that day, and ever since then. That’s the reason? You’ve been talking to him for the last two weeks! You were lying again?”

  “I didn’t want you and Milo to freak out.”

  Shaking his head, Lance eases his grip on me slightly. “I don’t get it. The stuff I get from you during the day sometimes, it isn’t you being scared, it’s … frustrated, and happy. No, more than happy. It was like …” His hand falls from my shoulder in disbelief. “It feels like last night, only not as intense.”

  I can’t breathe. I can’t respond or react.

  “Libby, please tell me you weren’t with him last night,” Lance begs.

  I want to deny it, lie to his face again. But I promised. “Lance, please just listen to me for a second.”

  Lance steps forward and grabs me again. My head snaps back at the force. The prickly feeling explodes over my body, a clear indication that Braden is watching Lance and me very closely. If Lance gets any rougher, I have the sickening feeling that Braden might feel the need to intervene. Lance is completely oblivious to that fact, of course.

  “What are you doing?” Lance demands. “He tried to take Milo, and eventually he’s going to come after you. What are you doing even talking to him, let alone … let alone … Damn it, Libby, are you sleeping with him?”

  “No!” I snap at him as quietly and forcefully as possible. “I’m not doing anything with him. I promise.”

  He doesn’t believe me. I grab his left wrist and press my first two fingers against his Guardian emblem. I’m not a Guardian, so there’s no physical catalyst that will force me to tell him the truth, but it’s the best I can offer. Lance knows I understand how sacred making a promise on the Guardian emblem is. I’ll just have to hope he hasn’t lost all his trust in me.

  “Lance, I promise. I promise I won’t lie to you about anything, including Milo. And I promise you that I am not sleeping with Braden. I’m not sleeping with anyone, and I don’t plan on changing that any time soon. Braden broke into my room last night. He wanted to know what happened with Casey. It turns out he’s also a Spiritualist, and he thinks he can help me get over my block and reach the spirit world. It’s not the first time I’ve talked to him, either. He found me later that night when he attacked Milo, and he’s been bugging me at school since he got here,” I say.

  “And, yes, being around Braden does something to me. I want to hate him for coming after Milo, but I just can’t. I have … feelings … or something … for him that I don’t want, and I’ve told him as much. I love Milo. I want to tell you that I’ll never speak to him again, but I can’t because I think he can help me get to the Ciphers, and because I think he’ll eventually change his mind about coming after me.”

  My blatant honesty rocks Lance. A good chunk of that spiel I never planned on telling anyone, let alone him, but I had to do it. It was the only way to restore some of Lance’s belief in me. I just hope it works. He’s still staring at me. I hold my breath and wait.

  “You have feelings for him? What kind of feelings?” Lance asks.

  “I don’t know. I like him, as a person, but there’s something more than that, too. I can’t explain it, and I don’t want it, but it’s there.” I know none of that makes sense, but there it is. I wait for Lance to attack me for this whole stupid situation and tell me what an idiot I am.

  “You realize he might just be playing you to get close to you, right?” Lance asks slowly.

  “Yes,” I say with a sigh of relief, “but I think it’s worth the risk.”

  Lance’s anger dissipates. His hands, which were trying to shake me to death a few seconds ago, rest absentmindedly on the back of my neck. Braden doesn’t appreciate that gesture, either. I ignore Braden, but I still knock Lance’s hands away from me. He barely even notices. He’s too busy thinking.

  “You realize you’re not just risking a broken heart if you let Braden get close to you and help you. You’re risking your life, Libby. If you don’t change his mind, he’ll be the one to kill you. No matter how he feels about you personally, he’ll be the closest Guardian with the best access. His Captain will give the order and he’ll follow it.”

  “I know, but I have to do this. Milo’s mom isn’t helping me enough. She’s a great therapist, and I have no doubt she could guide or manipulate the heck out of anyone she meets, but getting in and out of the spirit world isn’t her area of expertise. She has a hard enough time going by herself, let alone teaching me how to get there,” I say. “If Braden thin
ks he can help me, I have to let him try. I have to get to the Ciphers as soon as possible.”

  “I don’t like this, Libby. It’s too dangerous.”

  I shake my head at him. “It’s too dangerous not to do it. Without the Ciphers behind me, I won’t survive past my eighteenth birthday. And you know it.”

  Lance loves to argue. We spent a lot of our childhood arguing with each other about who was right, what the rules to a game were, and a million other things, but when Lance realizes he’s wrong he knows how to let it go. Mostly.

  “I want to be there the next time you meet with Braden.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?” Lance asks.

  “Because I know you too well, Lance. The first thing you’ll do when you see him is punch him in the face.” And then Braden, full Guardian with complete access to his talents, will pound Lance into the ground.

  Lance grins. “And that would be a bad thing why?”

  “Because he might not help me if you hit him, and then I’ll die,” I say.

  That wipes Lance’s smile off his face. He won’t risk my life for his pride. “I won’t do anything that would put you at risk, including letting you meet with him alone.”

  “I can’t have you in the room with me.” I shake my head when he tries to argue. “You know how difficult it is of me to use my Spiritualism. Knowing you’re next to me feeling my frustrations, wanting to punch Braden, and everything else that will be going through your head and heart will make it impossible for me to do anything. If you’re right next to me, I’ll feel everything you’re feeling and get distracted.”

  Lance works his jaw back and forth, his irritation at my logic apparent in the motion. “I’ll wait outside in my car, but that’s as far as I’m going.”

  I sigh, knowing it’s the best I will be able to get from him. “Fine.”